I've started something....

Life rah rah rah

2009-12-02T11:44:18Z

No Job. No Money. No Morrissey.

Depressing. It's like i'm 16 all over again.

Best night of my life:

2009-11-15T14:41:24Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZH_8SbcJGKo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV7669w7TUM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdPkeoi7LPE

Please be my dearest love

2009-10-22T18:16:39Z

If you don't want me,
you don't have to have me.
I just thought you might feel the same that's all.

Bags packed.
Just need to put the thoothbrush in sandwhich bag.

My last week

2009-10-13T20:13:20Z

Has been mad.
I've been in Glasgow, Manchester and London.
Paul Smith smiled at me and shouted hello to me from a far distance. He also pointed to me whilest singing " I know your face".
I went to the Royal Albert Hall and heard the organ being used and held Paul Smith's hand.
I became a roadie for Doll and the kicks for a few minutes and then spent a lot of time drinking and talking to them- mainly the drummer.

Next week wont be as good.

But the next four weeks after that shall be bliss. Two weeks down south, three days in France and three days in Ireland.

Good times for a change.................................................................

I just caught me hair in my glasses.

2009-09-20T20:07:12Z

33 days until Swinedon.
18 days until my first vist to the Royal Albert hall
17 days until mankychester
16 days until first Maximo gig

Ticket Bastard

2009-09-14T19:08:16Z

Those damn vile cretins.
Because of their daft system and determination to let touts have ALL the tickets, i wont get to see Morrissey again *i do realise i am seeing him many times so i can hardly complain*.
Standing tickets for Dub' sold out in a second, how is that possible? Only person i know got a ticket.
I'm come to the daft and futile conclusion i am going to go to Dublin anyway with or without a ticket.
I am more money than sense- which i have little of in the first place so it's not a good metaphor. I like to think that my heart rules my body, In the liner notes i remember Morrissey stating : " The heart is the organ that does the thinking".
I want that tattooed on me.
I am never NEVER again in my life stepping foot in a career's office. Why on earth did that i thik that was a good idea. The women couldn't convey the idea that i want want to go to University or work as a clerk- i asked about working in a Library.

pandoralucy @ 2009-09-13T23:35:00

2009-09-13T22:44:15Z

I wish i knew your deodorant so i could guess your smell.
Tell me what's your choice of aftershave?
Gucci?
Paul Smith?
Armani?
Avignon?
If i bath myself in it.
Perhaps the scent of familiarity shall make me more attractive to you.

Morrissey isn't coming to Scotland!

2009-09-13T00:06:34Z

I can hardly complain as i have tickets for many shows but i hasten to add i am traveling to three different countries to see him and the closest he is playing to where i am now is 212 miles away ( i am not even going to Liverpool as the venue looks awful and hotels cost more than three in Salisbury).
Truely if he does love Tunnucks teacakes as much as he said he does in Glasgow he 'll want more. It's not like Irn Bru you cannae get 'em down south!
I'll have to juck some from the 5th row in Brentwood.... ( carefully aiming for the sercuity in the pit). Who is in the 4 rows ahead of me????
Not even a soul on solo appears to be going. I'll make my way to the front anyway:).
I think this is the first ever tour he has done that has missed out Scotland.
I always hoped i never would go to Essex, There was always one exception.. or possibly two.

This made me laugh

2009-09-10T09:52:44Z

Events at Brentwood centre:

November 2009

1st November - London Leopards vs London Mets

3rd November - Morrissey

7th-8th November - Craft Fair

15th November - London Leopards vs Leeds Carnegie

21st November - Cage Fighting

22nd November - London Leopards vs Derby Trailblazers

28th November - ABBA

pandoralucy @ 2009-09-08T22:43:00

2009-09-08T21:48:17Z

Maybe i should copy and paste my real diaries that i have kept for the last six years.

It's about time i make an arse of myself and embrass myself so much i want to bury my head in the back garden.

AGAIN

AGAIN

I hate september.
I want it to be October.

I can't "Help" you, I can't "help" you anymore.

2009-08-08T23:01:41Z

My almost handshake:
0:59
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35lx6mq_naY

... passion never wears thin.

On your face, on your face, face face face

2009-08-08T22:40:57Z

When will october come?

THe month of October is not an acceptable answer

I really really really wish i was back in Camden.I've never shed a tear upon that town- unless in shear utter joy or out of sentimentallity or how the shit the H&M is there- compared the excellent one on the west end of Princes street( the palce where most of the clothes i wear comes from).
I ahte the festival- only whe i am on abus and it takes an hour to get from The Balmoral to The Royal Mile.
I drink too much,
I sleep too much.
I spend too mcuh time online.
I spend too much time on buses.

I deserve a fucking break.

2009-07-17T12:01:59Z

After all this shit.

I've just messed up an interview for my dream job. Which i understandble considering someone put a knief to my throat on Wednesday night.

Please let London be my break.

Things that Quicken the heart

2009-07-14T20:57:34Z

T in the Park was amazing( minus having no sleep people pissing on our tent and doing one's bussiness in ahole in the ground).To be honest it was only amazing becuase of Maximo Park and The killers but considering this is me, this is to be expected.

On Friday at about 4 i walked round to the gate on the campsite, the doors opened at 5. I nervously stood counting how many people had the chance to get in front of me and i tried to convince myself i could run faster than everyone there.
They let us run the "campers walkway" which was about a mile. I got about half way along until i had to start panting yet somehow made my legs move. After many painful breaths and steps i got the gates of the arena, which opened about 20 minues later. I ened up staning next to Calum - who is a guy i have met at many maximo gigs, Once they opened the gates i thankfully found mt breath and made a good run for the front of the main stage. It was about a mile away and my bodt took this harsh run the same as before. I accidentl went the wrong way and i ened up with a shit part of the barrier. I was gutted. But i then heard someone shout " Lucy". It was Calum he saved me a space directly in the middle. I was overjoyed.
I had to stand through james Morrisson which truely was dull. A lot of photograhers took my picture so i fear i shall end up somewhere.
Maximo came on and of course i was stupidly excited- i was almost in tears.
They started with Graffiti.
During "Questing , Not coasting" Paul done his usual by pointing at someone in the crowd during the line" Hey you, whay's new, i know your face".
It was my turn again.
www.bbc.co.uk/tinthepark/2009/artist/maximo_park/ 10:12- look at that smile!!!
During " I want you to stay" he also pointed at me at the line " I think of your face at night". And during "A Cloud of mystery" he pointed at me at the line " He burns for you".
I must i was extremly flattered that paul Smith thinks that anyone would "burn" for me, the exact conatactions of this phrase and let to a lo of datdreaming.
Someone should tell him it rude to point......

I have an interview for waterstones!!!!!!

Oh what!

2009-06-18T10:40:27Z

A blitz your words are to me.

"This isn't the first time but it still feels innocent
I just want to kiss you.
There won't be a time when my mind strays to you
No, I'm not going to miss you.

Onto fireworks in Brixton
Two carousel hearts spinning
If it's a grower
Why can't we take things slower?

She brings up the roller disco
Head full of curls on the pillow
If it's a grower
Then why can't we take things slower?

I don't know if you've made it but you accommodated me
When my mind was elsewhere.
Out on deck the dawn arrived.
Your grey sweater oversized.
The rooftops glimmered before our eyes"
M.P.

pandoralucy @ 2009-06-10T22:00:00

2009-06-10T21:14:18Z

To give up
or to give in
to which plea
does your heart sing?

I'm to sick to death

2009-06-08T22:34:22Z

Of labour and Torries... and SNP.

pandoralucy @ 2009-06-05T23:14:00

2009-06-05T22:17:15Z

One Thursday i will be dead
But it's always a Friday.
Above my head
I see the day
Black clouds fill the sky
rosts in my mind.

I wish the 86 would come
And take me away from here
To anywhere
I really don't mind
Just to a place with an atmosphere
To a place where i can i say i belong here
With faces and street names
i have never seen before.

To wake up
and not feel in utter despair
Trains to take me to
the one i so desire
I give my heart
and they give me skittles for ware.

Such i place
i shall never find.
For all i long for
is not on earth
but in my mind.

I am just a face in the crowd
with a voice that
can never be heard.
You pass me by,
such a fool you are!
But my pining heart can't make you see me
This me, only i can see
You see the same as everyone else.
Just this face in the crowd.

I talk crap.

2009-06-04T14:28:42Z

So please excuse my jibberish,
I don't actually have anything to say but i think i do.

The only thing i seem able to do is correct every single factual error the NME make on the website and then to moan to them about it.
I cna't believe idiots like that are running a magazine and they wont let ME on a journalism course.

Vile swine

2009-05-26T22:34:32Z

" and as for you in your uniform
your smelly uniform
and so you think you can be rude to me
because you wear a uniform
a smelly uniform
and so you think you can be rude to me
but even I / as sick as I am
I would never be you
even I / as sick as I am
I would never be you
even I / sick and depraved
a traveler to the grave
I would never be you
I would never be you"

This is directed at that bastard who is the head of sercuity at the Manchester Apollo who grabbed me on Saturday night and jucked me on the floor from a great height, even though i never touched him. Thanks to him i can't walk without a great deal of pain.
He almost snapped my spine. I've seen crimials take less abuse. I've made a complaint hopefully that twat will loose his job or least get punished.
I was trying to hug the man i love for a few seconds- tackle the REAL fucking terrorists.

Why?

2009-05-24T22:15:43Z

Am i going to see Morrissey in Swindon and Bournemouth when he is playing Leeds and Sheffield.

Me and Morrissey

2009-05-24T21:45:42Z

I don't want to come off this cloud.

2009-05-17T09:16:02Z

Roll on Hartlepool!

Now you grip with your hand, Now so small in mine:
31:57
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.channel&channelID=110281323

At least we are touching.

pandoralucy @ 2009-05-10T10:22:00

2009-05-10T09:29:58Z

"Not yet la lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala"

I think i prefer that to "Life, life Oh My God" because it means he wants me to get on stage! He was telling me when to jump over the barrier, i was being pushed from behind so i couldn't take his advice. During the gig he came over to me twice looked me in the eye and held out his hand but my arm isn't long enough.
He may be starting to know my face....

'bout moi on solo:
"Hello to the tiny redhead right at the front, who asked me to lift her up onto the barrier. In under 5 seconds she had hold of Morrissey's hand (and wouldn't let it go again) Class!"

As the bruises start to fade

2009-05-06T13:02:34Z

The last two days have buzzed by. Just got back from Dundee. I have many tales, so here we go:

Go to Stirling at 9am, met Jenna and i was 22 on the list- i didn't even know there was a list! The ablert halls kindly let us sit inside until 5pm, so we sheltered from the rain and cold. I sat in the corner with jenna and elizabeth( Scottishblood) and spoke about Morrissey and gigs in general.
We hear the band sound check. Then out of the blue, came his voice, no music at all, just Morrissey with the mircophone singing " i am human and i need to be loved". I coudln't stop shaking from then on.
At five we got into order and lined round the builiding and i gave everyone a second by second countdown.
We got in, i just in front of the right speaker, we spoke to one of the sercuity guys and he was nice, i thought this would work to my advantage.
The dolls and the kicks came on and they were excellent- Bob's new best friends i must use this to my advantage.
Then the videos The sparks video for Lighten up Morrissey was great.
Then it was nine. My heart thudded and i started to feel faint. Determinded i gripped to the barrier and soon i was ok.
Morrissey came on.
This charming men.
I wont go through the setlist. During Bill Budd he came over to my side of the stage and held out his hand, the women next to me held his hand.
The show rattled on and i hate to say it i found it hard to get into. The atmosphere was just not there. Maybe it was because i was at the side.

Encore. It could ahve been the best moment of my life but Morrissey new secruity guy is such a bastard.
The American women next to me jucked me over the barrier but the secon i landed that twat leapt off the stage and put his arm around my waist, It contained a knife. He pushed me to the side but i pushed again and again and again , i was a boomram. I loosened his grip on me and ducked down and crashed thrugh his legs and i was free but he grabbed me again and leifted me up in the air to stop me from running. I screamed " MORRISSEY" and pathetically held out my hand. He looked over at me and doen a half wave and shurged to say " there's nothing i can do". The twat jucked me over on the other side of the barrier. I pushed my way to the middle just in time for the shirt throw. It landed two rows in front but ducked down and grabbed a part. I didn't let go and finally Jordan and i tugged a huge piece free and we tried to cut it with everything on us.
I got this:

After the show, i sat in the train station, laying on the floor as i could hardly walk from my beaten, crying for want of my love.

DUNDEE:
Got there at 9am and only 2 people were in front! The queue was slightly more pleasent as i got to know people more and i knew i would have a good spot.
The atmosphere was better , i was just left from the centre.
A fight broke out, in the mosh pit and all the secruity had to run in the crowd, no one went for the stage and his new bodygaurd had been watching me for the whole night like a hawk, so i wasn't going to be the first. He started rambling about Dundee biscuits. He hovered the mic above my head and asked if they were still around- i didn't know.
He walked off stage and one off the crew came on and said " Please bare with us, we will be a few minutes". I don't know why.
During Somegirls- was in tears. Morrissey was at the other side of the stage but he was facing my side, he looked at me as he sang "Some girls".
Then the encore. One person tried to get over the barrier, Everyone was shocked, i was only going to lead he was distracted- he's got it in for me.
Morrissey said " sorry we were late tonight"- came on at half nine. " i hope you don't miss your trains home, *bad scottish acdent* when's the last tram*. So i shouted when my train was leaving- which was proberally when i said it.
So i was stuck in Dundee and couldn't get back to Edinburgh. i tagged along with the fold i had been queuing with, we went to the aftershow ans danced our legs down to the knee's. I got free drinks all night due to sympathy and i ended up with somewhere to stay in the end and got the first coach back.

Tomorrow, I wish it was today. The barrowlands is an easy venue to meet people ..... Morrissey here icome!